My house is a bomb site.
Not sometimes, all the time. And I HATE cleaning. I hate it with a passion.
Cleaning to me is a waste of my time. Time that could be spent with the kids, or on my lounge on Facebook.
This poses a few issues.
1. With a family this size there’s always something to clean
2. My husband wishes he’d married Alice from the Brady Bunch.
3. My kids have acquired the same hatred for cleaning so no one does anything to help – ever.
My husband has for years (and still does) complained about the state of the house. “It’s an embarrassment” (true) “It’s your job” (technically correct) And “we can never find anything and the house is full of crap” (100% correct)
After I had daughter #2 and we had just come home from hospital, I was having a particularly bad day. He walked in, my son had run away, I was nude from the waist down, the 2 girls were naked. I was covered in vomit and crying hysterically. He had walked over a pile of nappies to get in the front door – and he looks at me and says – wait for it – “do you ever clean the skirting boards around here?”
I obviously didn’t kill him. Because I have 2 more kids to prove he’s still alive. And he has never ever asked me about a skirting board again, which is lucky for him, and me – because I don’t know whether the house we live in now has any.
What he has done is get me a cleaner – and I’ve finally found one I love. She comes once a week and the house is clean for an hour tops. The rest of the time the dishes aren’t done, the house is a mess. The kids go laundry diving in the pile to get a pair of undies and my washing pile falls out of the laundry. The floors need mopping and the table is sticky. When strangers come over I pretend I’m sick to excuse the state of it. My sister comes and folds my washing because she pities me.
I’ll never have a clean house and I’ll lie about the easy day I’ve had to excuse my lack of cleaning – because I JUST DON’T WANT to clean!
I’d rather sit on Facebook instead.
Ali is later in her 30’s than she'd like to be, and a mum to five kids aged 18 years to 7 months. She hates cooking and cleaning, and she's obsessed with social media. Head over to www.mumtofive.com to read all about her adventures raising five kids while avoiding any (and all) household chores.
Hayley
Oh Ali, you are not alone!
When I first met my husband and we first moved out together, he thought all was good. We'd work, come home, cook dinner, do our chores and off to bed. Then I got pregnant, sick and depression and boy did that mess things up for his preconception of how he thought life was going to be!
Today, we have four children and the house is still a mess. There are children's toys in ever room in the house, I'm talking EVERY room. We had a cleaner but though what's the point. There is a never ending but ever growing ironing pile on the upstairs couch, the couch is no longer used for sitting. The cleanest place to sit is the toilet as I am forever cleaning messes and I don't believe there is a floor in the laundry.
We are all in this together and as much as I want my house to sparkle like a tv commercial, it does not!
D g
if your husband is at work providing for you and your family then he deserves to walk into a clean house, a meal on the table and nothing do to but play with the kids.
I'm not from the 50's but I see some of the values.... I respect my hubby and when he gets home from a 12 hr shift at work I think he shouldn't have to step over kids toys, laundry etc.
I'm a very strong woman, I'm in my 2nd marriage n I won't put up with crap from any man.
I'm just passionate about being a stay at home mum, that's a job! That's cleaning and cooking and laundering. I mow lawns, garden, if I've the time after I've cared for, taken my kids to school, cleaned the house, cooked then I'm happy to do other things while my hubby is out working to. It's a partnership!
Naomi
Correct. Would you want to work all day while your husband stayed and home and did nothing. Would you like walking into a mess with no meal cooked after your hard working day while your husband had done not much more than FB and coffee all day? Not OK and I cannot work out where any woman decided this was an OK way to run their house
madelaine
Hey there- get rid of some stuff and get some systems in place.
If you run the dishwasher in the morning
the washing machine and dryer in the morning
fold one load of washing (empty dryer to put more in)
that is half the battle.
If the kids don't pick up their toys toss them out.
They will learn super quick. Also chuck some music on and dance around- you will look like you are having fun- if the kids see you hating housework they will too.
Sounds like you are suffering from overload.
Pick two things you would like to achieve each day and don't bother with the rest
hope this helps!
M
I enjoyed reading this, I like to clean up and have everything just so but it's tough with 3 kids. I have learned not to care so much and everyone is happier. If you don't like cleaning, don't do it. Do only things that make you happy. My husband cooks most meals and if the place gets too messy for him he cleans it up. Happiness is most important.
Exhausted
I totally relate. I hate cleaning. My husband and I both work. He leaves at 7:15am and gets home around 6pm. I get up at 6am, make all our lunches, get the kids read for school. I start at 8:15am and finish at 3:30pm and then come home and have a chat to the kids, do homework, tidy, cook dinner, clean up after dinner, do a couple of loads of washing, get the kids ready for bed the list goes on. He get's home eats his dinner that is ready and waiting for him, sits on the couch and falls asleep. Most days he thinks I do nothing, and complains about the state of the house but does nothing to help because he works full time!!!! What do I do??? It's exhausting. Cleaning is the last thing I want to do. I would love a cleaner.