I just spent the most wonderful 9 months at home with my baby. I am totally blessed to have one of those chilled babies who loves to eat and sleep. I spent my days catching up with girlfriends and their babies, spending time with family and shopping… there are so many things out there that I just NEED for the baby!
I’ve never been a domestic goddess, you can ask any of my many past flat mates (and my mum), in fact for the past few years I have had a cleaner. “I work full time, cleaning is for housewives!” was my inner dialog. Then, with the arrival of our boy, I suddenly became one of those housewives. Even though I hate cleaning I thought it would be taking the piss a bit to get a cleaner so I sucked it up and started doing it myself.
I took my new role seriously and every day I cleaned something. I’m not saying that I did the most amazing job but the house was always presentable and the washing was done.
The clock was clicking down to the end of my maternity leave and I was going back to work. We needed a plan. When we crunched the numbers we realised that with the income that hubby was bringing in it wasn’t really worth him working. We decided that he should stay at home and I would go back to work full time. It meant that Mylo could stay home and hubby would be able to take care of all the household jobs and I wouldn’t have to clean anymore!
So it turns out my husband suffers from a serious case of domestic blindness. I’ve been back at work for five weeks… No washing was done for the first two weeks. The bathroom has been half cleaned once. The wooden floors have been swept and mopped twice (I did it one of those times), the carpet has been vacuumed once, I am not even going to mention the state of the balcony, I can’t stand to even look at it right now let alone got out there to enjoy a nice meal in the dwindling sunlight. Just think. Crawling baby… Cute little outfits… Disgusting floors… Bad combination.
I had to give in and have rebooked the cleaner. She will be here next week.
Who knew I could get so stressed out looking at a floor?
It has taken a while to adjust to our new roles. I wasn’t prepared for how exhausting it would be going back to work. I am waking up at 5:30am so I can get to work by 7 and leave at a reasonable hour to get home and see my son every day. I wasn’t prepared for just how much I would miss seeing his cute little face each morning. I wasn’t prepared for not being there when he waved goodbye for the first time, or got another tooth.
I also wasn’t prepared for seeing all the adorable little outfits I bought him being jumbled up and tossed together in combinations I didn’t know were possible. Why can’t he see that those combinations just don’t work?!!!
My husband wasn’t prepared for how many things you need to do each day at home just to keep the household running. It turns out it’s not just playing with the baby all day (who knew hey!). It is the ‘What is next? Have I got everything? Do I have a backup meal just incase he doesn’t feel like eating his sausage? How old is that banana?
My husband is an amazing father, I love watching him with our son. They climb, explore, cuddle and read, they are a little team with an unbreakable bond. There aren’t many husbands out there who could hack being a stay at home dad but mine is doing an amazing job with the baby…
Just pick up the damn mop and USE it!!!
What do you think- should we have the same expectations on stay at home dads as we do on mums?
Definitely I think it’s a two way street. I am at home and know I keep it
Running in a tighter way than my husband would but I also know whilst he appreciates it he doesn’t expect it – Infact he always tells me to have a break!
If he was at home he would need to keep it to a certain standard and he would also have to do all the baby activities she loves. I wouldn’t want to get a cleaner if one of us was at home- when we are both working though it’s game on!
Here is a song just for your husband.
we should….but I dont. My husband is the SAHP for 4 years now….i used to get frustrated but i think well if i want the floor mopped i can mop the floor. im away for 4 nights at a time sometimes and i always come home to a fairly presentable house and considering 2 have autism and he is only on his Ls i just try to count what he does do so i dont go crazy
it sounds like you have a pretty awesome husband- even if cleaning isn’t his strong point. (Its certainly not mine- lucky I have teenagers lol!)