Sure… it starts out innocent enough. Your little one is really into Peppa Pig all of a sudden but selecting a new episode every five minutes is driving you mental. You have a little bitch about it on facebook and some other, more experienced mums casually mention that you can play back to back eps on YouTube- these mothers are the pushers…
First, you’re hearing Peppa Pig’s irritating, bratty voice (but celebrating that you get to have a shower and eat in more than five-minute intervals- some of those compilations are two frickin’ hours long!!) Suddenly, your kid gets a little savvy with the iPad and starts selecting the next episodes on their own. You give yourself a little pat on the back about how advanced your kid is and move on to your next chore- enjoying the peace and quiet.
Next, a soothing voice enters your consciousness… wait! That’s not Peppa! Why can’t you hear stupid George yelling ‘Dinosaur!’ or people ridiculing Daddy Pig for his weight problems? Who is this? You check out the iPad as your kid sits there in a trance, listening to the soothing voice of an Asian lady with a perfect manicure. Why is she opening Kinder Eggs? Why are they so absorbed?
You let it go… after all, they are quiet, right? Who cares if they get off on watching Kinder eggs (where’s the benefit if you don’t get the chocolate? Weirdos!)
STOP!!! This it is- when they move from the gateway drug and hit the hard stuff. It’s the beginning of their crack addiction!
Before you can say, ‘unboxing’, you’ll be lost in a world where grown men play with Barbies, you suddenly know the names of every generation of Shopkins, and you spend hours watching a YouTube series about Anya and Elsia (Anna and Elsa’s kids if you aren’t in the know) and dissecting the latest episodes with your husband.
Your kid will beg for YouTube like they are are going through heroin withdrawals. There will be denial, screaming, begging, negotiations! (It’s like the seven stages of grief every day in this house!) You’ll find them sneaking your phone when you aren’t looking, just to get a fix… its addiction level is insane.
So.. if you’re thinking about taking the easy way out with those Peppa compilations take a moment to take this all in. Because this is where it ends up people!
Do you have a YouTube addict in the house?