Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty

I have been awake for most of the night with my newborn and up since 4:45am with my toddler.

Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

My toddler needs me to get up make him breakfast and my baby needs me to sit down and feed him breakfast.

Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

Instead of waking up to “Good morning!” and a kiss and a cuddle, my pre-schooler wakes up to a cranky hungry baby, a cranky hungry toddler and a mother fully engrossed in trying to split herself in two to please them both. So he acts out to get attention.

Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

My pre-schooler needs help packing his bag, my toddler needs help putting on his shoes and I when I wake the baby up from his nap to take him on the school run I realise he has had a “blow-out”.

Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

While my kids are clean, dry and looking respectable I look like a dog’s breakfast. My clothes are stained with milk and food, I really need to wash my hair and no amount of concealer is going to be able to hide the fact that I am completely exhausted. I am fooling no one.
Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

We arrive at the school gate and it is pouring with rain, my toddler has taken his shoes off and my baby is crying because he is hungry again. My options are to either watch my pre-schooler as he walks to the gate and takes himself to class without me or stand in the rain and get soaked as I put my toddlers shoes back on, unstrap everyone from their car seats, run them in, drop my pre-schooler off, run back and strap my toddler and baby back into the car again. Either way, I am going to feel guilty.

Please don’t take from my bucket, it is almost empty.

I am not saying this to have a whinge, I love my life and I am grateful for my children. I am not saying this to ask for your help, even though it would be nice to pee in peace or wash my hair without constantly checking if the baby is crying.

What I am trying to explain to you that while there is something left in my bucket if I give you the last few drops then it will be bone dry. Who then will look after my children?

My children are my responsibility. It is my duty as a mother to take care of myself and fill up my own bucket so I am able to take care of my children and add to their bucket. If don’t then who will?

A part of being a good and responsible parent is learning to say no when I need to. That is the beauty of motherhood; your kids give you the strength you didn’t know you had.

So no, you can’t have what is in my bucket, it is almost empty. What I have left is reserved for the people that need it the most, my children and for myself so I can get through the day.