Is it just me, or are there other Mum’s out there who despite being so sleep deprived they can barely slap a coherent sentence together, they find themselves at 4am wide awake, asking themselves philosophical questions that normally you couldn’t care less about? It has been quite some time since I have had the chance to sit back and really reflect on how life has changed since we started having children. Mainly because for the past five and half years I barely get a chance to visit the toilet on my own let alone sit down and leisurely ponder life! Plus as I mentioned above, I have forgotten how to structure a proper sentence these days so big thoughts hurt my brain.
But over the weekend, as the hubby and I were juggling dinner time with the kids (which involved lots of – ‘Eat your dinner’, ‘Stop running around and eat!’, ‘OMG it’s been an hour – can you eat please!’) I found myself asking The Husband – do you remember what our life was like before we had kids? For the life of me – I really don’t remember what it was like to leisurely sleep in until midday without having two kids piled up on top of me pulling my hair and slobbering kisses on my face. Or sitting down for breakfast at a decent hour rather than scoffing my brekky at 3pm in between cleaning the latest mess and the next breastfeeding session.
For some reason this really played on my mind all weekend. Perhaps it was the hint of spring in the air that was evoking vague memories that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Perhaps it was the fact that we started planning how we were going to sneak away for an early 10 Year Wedding Anniversary dinner when my parents visit us again.
Then on Sunday as we were at our local park enjoying the sunshine and watching our son play, it hit me – we are happy, content, fulfilled. Despite the craziness that comes with parenthood, the never ending poopy nappies, lack of sleep due to teething babies, the never ending toy explosions that hit EVERY room in the house, the bad days that induce the wine cravings at midday (despite not being much of a drinker), the days when you have had enough of the tantrums you feel like running out the door screaming bloody murder never to return, despite all of this, we are still crazy in love with our life as parents.
And although our first few years together as a married couple were great, we were told early on that it was likely we would not be able to have children, so it is a life far removed from what we are living now. For us, life B.C was filled with dashed hopes and dreams. We had to come to terms with the fact that we would most likely never have children. At the time we thought we were ok, that we had made peace with not having our own children.
But now, as we sit here snuggled up to our boys, covered in baby spit and bits of the boys dinner, we can’t help but smile, because we really don’t need to remember what it was like. We are blessed with two miracle babies. We are making new memories. Our life has taken an unexpected turn and we are too wrapped up in it to worry about what was.
The Husband’s response to my question, of whether he remembers what life was like B.C– “Yep, and THIS is much better”. I couldn’t agree more. No that I have got that out of my system – please brain, LET ME SLEEP!
What do you miss about life before children?